Season 3 Episode 3
We are entering the Dark Forest! In this episode we take our first steps after my conversion to the Catholic Church on the Feast Day of St. Thérèse in the year 1984. I came to understand that what Thérèse was saying was true - I just did not know what it was that she was saying!
I call this phenomenological experience the “Thérèsian affect.”
Reflecting on the past, particularly through journaling, is a way to remove the cover, the hiddenness, from our inauthentic being in the world and reveal our true authentic selves. I am walking the Trail of the Dogmatic Creed with you by reflecting on my past as it phenomenologically appears to me. I invite you to do the same. Step out of the mindless, day-today and enter into a reflection.
Thérèse established a new mindset in me. I had been given new life in the Church - the Eucharist and the Blessed Virgin Mary - through the “Thérèsian affect.” However, my intellect and sense of meaning and being in the world was still framed in the old inauthenticity of mindless everydayness. I suffered immensely for many years.
Reflective question
How do you reflect on your past? Critically? or Phenomenologically?
This is the second of my four prose that began my journey on the Trail of the Dogmatic Creed with St. Joan and St. Thérèse. The first five stanzas open this episode. All four prose can be found in my first book, Journey to Christendom - The Freedom Dance.
The Dance of Reason -“In Principio Erat Verbum”
Joyously through the woods on
The dance of freedom
We came to a bridge where I
Froze in my tracks
“What? This on the path of the
Dogmatic Creed?” I could not accept
“The path of the Dogmatic Creed
Cannot contain this!”
“No, it cannot be…I became lost
Looking for this very bridge”
The bridge had a sign on the front
“The Bridge of Reason”
On the other side was another sign
But it could only be read from
There
My new saintly sister and my new
Family
Ran joyously over the thing with no
Hesitation
They were lighter and simpler than
Me, though
I could not cross like them
For if Reason has a bridge here
On the Dogmatic Creed
It had to be a mighty weak
And shadowy bridge
My saintly new sister beckoned
From the bridge
“You must have Reason to find
Our destination – come!”
She waved me on
“This path,” I stammered “Cannot
Hold true Reason!”
“In the beginning was, well
Nothing”
“I have enjoyed the journey, but I
Am afraid it is a mere dream!”
“Tell? Your reason came from nothing?”
Her eyes widened but danced and smiled
“Then your rational reason is born of
Irrational nothing!”
“Rationality swims out of a pool of
Irrationality!” she burst out laughing
“No wonder you were lost,
Dear brother” she gazed
“I must take you to the Logos
The Verbum”
“Hurry along!”
Her gaze penetrated my soul
Something that gave me joy
But I had come to fear
I had trouble answering her
“No! True Reason cannot come
From Unreason!” she giggled
“You’re mad!”
She laughed again and waved
Me on
“Only Creative Reason can create
Reason – come on!” she was anxious
“We shall meet love, yes”
“But in meeting love we shall also
Meet the Logos! Reason Himself!”
Hesitating no longer
I ran to meet her on the
Bridge
It was much stronger than I
Had anticipated
To my saintly sister’s
Annoyance
I stayed for a while
To soak in the joy of the
View, that of real Reason
From the bridge on the
Narrow path
Of the Dogmatic Creed
The path of the Apostolic
Fathers
Giving in
I ran to the other side and
Continued the journey
But wait! I turned to read the
Sign forbidden me before
The sign read:
“In Principio erat Verbum”
“In the beginning was the
Word”
Once more my saintly sister
Had brought light and wisdom
To my eyes
In the beginning was Verbum
The Word of Reason
As we danced on from our (or
Should I say my)
Harrowing ordeal
My saintly sister yelled back to
Me
“Reason is Love
And Love is the Reason!”
She danced and laughed
What next?
I am also the co-host of the Heroic Hearts podcast devoted to a spiritual adventure with St. Joan of Arc and St. Thérèse of Lisieux! Join us on the journey!
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